#14

For my portfolio assignment I Chose to revise my argument analysis essay. Some strengths in this essay are that I supported my thesis with evidence and quotes from the text, and I also described the position with my own reasons as well. Some of my weaknesses are that I didn't connect the ideas clearly to the main idea and how it all relates. To effectively revise my essay I am going to re read every paragraph and see how I can connect the ideas to the thesis and make sure I clearly explain further anything else. I need to make sure I clarify the ideas and support them with facts.

#13

I analyzed the essay, "Free Speech Off Campus Must Be Protected". In that essay the writer had a trustworthy tone because he knew what he was talking about by backing up his claims with statistics and facts. a well informed, knowledgeable tone is key in persuading an audience. Learning this I will be aware of my tone in my paper.

I also noticed in the paper the write didn't really make a clear sentence thesis statement. I learned when writing an arguable position you must not write terms such as "I feel strongly or "I feel". you must clearly state it and sound one hundred percent as if it was a fact for the reader to take you serious and back your claim up.

In this essay the writer did a good job in considering the other positions values and stating them in his paper. He then explained it and talked about his position opposed to the other sides position. He also stated the situation and information to his audience before he jumped right in and talked about what side he is on. I learned when writing a paper it is best and makes your argument stronger when you consider the opposing positions ideas and stating the information first.

# 12

Topic Q: should citizens be permitted to carry a concealed weapon?

Thesis: Due to recent and continuous cases and events, it proves that citizens should not be permitted to carry a concealed weapon.

Compelling argument: after creating my chart, I would say that when carrying a weapon, it is dangerous to the carrier and people around the citizen. if a citizen believes he/her is in danger and that accusation is false, it can lead to unfortunate events and accidents that should not have happened in the first place due to the fact that the citizen had a weapon on them. This is my compelling argument because there has been an incident that has already happened of the killing of a young boy who was in fact not endangering anyone and his life was taken. My audience might already be aware of this.

Weak argument: You don't need to carry a weapon on a daily basis to protect yourself. there are other ways. this is the weak part of my argument because the opposing position might argue that no one will help if you are in danger and you can't rely on other people for your safety.

# 11

Reflecting on my last two papers, I noticed a couple pattern of errors that I continue to repeat in my papers. One of them is a clear thesis. One of my weaknesses in writing is stating and identifying a clear thesis, I always tend to write more sentences than needed and sometimes I end up confusing the reader and myself to be honest. I definitely need to be more clear in a single stated sentence.

Another error I have noticed in my papers is the title! (ironic enough the easiest thing) When writing the final draft I totally forget to come up with a creative title. I always end up putting the general name of the essay I am writing .

One more error In noticed is being specific. When writing my papers I don't really read from the audiences point of view. therefore I don't explain what I state sometimes. For example, in the analysis essay.I explained what I thought but I really didn't get into deeper meaning and therefore I wasn't being specific. I realized when writing papers I should re read from the audiences perspective.

These are a few errors I have noticed (so far).

extra credit ;)

So I decided to choose a topic that has recently been going on. I am sure a lot of people have heard of this experiment, charity case thing, "Kony 2012". If not it's a 30 minute video on you tube informing us about a criminal in Uganda, Africa who basically abducts children right out of there home, turns the boys into child soldiers and the girls, sex slaves. the sort of Fear is power theory going on. Now I myself am not aware of events around the world. I actually prefer not to pay attention to those things most of the time because it honestly depresses me and I feel as if I (as an individual) can do nothing about those things. (I don't know, it's just my opinion.) But anyways, one of my friends on Facebook posted the video on their page and it intrigued me so I watched the full 30 minutes and I can honestly say it motivated me! It made me care about those kids! The video stated basically by making him famous, we can help what's going on in Uganda. That America will realize how passionate we are and send troops in to help the military in Uganda capture this criminal. The video did a great job informing and motivating. I honestly wanted to help and it did not seem that hard to do so. Older generations are always talking about how messed up our generation is and all we care about is media and internet and our iPods, so I thought this was perfect to show we can help through technology. Soon people were telling me of events that were going to happen so that we can make Kony known such as posting pictures around the city. I told myself I would go along with it as long as someone kept me informed. Meanwhile being the Facebooker I am, I noticed a bunch of statuses about Kony 2012 project. People agreed that if we can help why not? other said it was a scam and why are we wasting time worrying about what's happening over there when we should be worrying about what's happening here given that Chicago's crime rate is rising and we have one of the most dangerous neighborhoods according to a list along with the media. Pretty soon I totally forgot about Kony2012. I went about my life working, writing paper for class until I realized no one was paying attention to it anymore. Was it just a hot trend that was over? Recently, the guy who basically put the whole video together and the spokesperson for Kony2012 was actually arrested for masturbating in public! yea, big shocker for someone who wants to help a country. Like the guy couldn't control himself? Seriously?! But that's not the point. The point is was it a hot trend? Just because people were talking about it we went with it? Do we actually care about things going on in the world? At the beginning of the video, it did state it was an experiment. So did we fail?

free topic- #9

My college experience so far has been pretty good, not as hard as I expected college to be. I enjoy the freedom that comes with college compared to high school. There is no security forcing you to stay and no slackers. Everyone does there work and is focused, in other words a positive environment. I pretty much just get in, do what I have to do and then I am free to go. I am in charge of myself and I love that. That's what I love about my college experience. The thing I least like about my college experience is there's a lot of freedom. It's not that professors don't care if you fail or even show up to class but it's definetely different from high school as to where teachers are hunting you down if you ditch their class. I jumped into college fresh out of high school so, there is some things I am still adjusting to.

Assignment # 7 Reflecting On Progress

Looking back on my first blog post and reflecting upon It, I would say that by writing these two papers so far I am learning different techniques and structures on how to write different genres of essays. I do feel as If I am making progress In the paper writing area, although I don't feel as If I am learning anything new with grammar. I remember one day In class we were going over the FANBOYS words and to use them but I did not really get it in class. Identifying with adverbs and pronouns has always been a weakness of mine. So I definitely hope to improve more by the end of the semester. Maybe in another future assignment Ill be able to fully understand and improve those skills. I feel that this class is helping me and I wouldn't want to change it. Although I am horrible at giving feedback during peer review, I do believe it helps a lot with improving essays. Especially since when it comes too papers I am little to organized as in the sense of writing topics for every paragraph.

Assignment #6 - Rhetorical Situations :)

Both rhetorical situations for both papers are different. In my literacy Narrative it was more along the aspect of writing about an event in your life that has to do with literacy, and it wasn't specifically aimed at an audience, but to whom ever the reader is that is interested in reading the paper; basically telling a story. The tone in a literacy narrative varies depending on the writer. In an analysis essay it pretty much describes the deeper meaning of an advertisement and answers a lot of questions as to why the advertisement uses certain colors and what message is it trying to give to its audience? (not just basic, obvious observations.) Both papers are different genres and require different things.

Purpose- I Think the purpose of this ad is to sort of give you the feeling that purchasing the brand Skyy Vodka will give you some sort of power (You're thee man!), and even the attraction of a lady. Given that the guy is standing above the female with the alcohol brand in hand and fully dressed in a professional, classy, suit. Face it sex sells! When there's a female in an ad wearing a bikini and showing off her assets, I feel it will definitely cause attention. Notice that the female is lifting her sunglasses up. I've always felt that when anybody lifts their shades up and staring, that the male in the ad caught the females attention. 

Audience- This ad is targeting a 21+ crowd, possibly more toward men who feel desired to be successful and the fantasy of power and an attractive female on the side. Of course that may not be it but given that the female does look of a younger age.

Genre- I am not really sure what kind of genre this ad is representing, but as a guess I would say modern. It does compare to other alcohol ads as well. Theirs usually always an attractive female In Ads such as these.

Tone-  With the vibrant blue and light colors, I would say the tone is very relaxed and fun in this ad. It's a sunny day and why not get intoxicated, is pretty much what this ad is trying to go for.

Revision :)

When comparing my rough draft paper to my final draft paper, obviously there's a few differences.When writing my rough draft paper I pretty much just free write and write whatever to get to the point. During peer review, my peer made me realize I did forget the little things like hello, description! So In my final paper I described the place and family members I mention so you can pretty much get a feel from where I am coming from and probably even relate to my paper. I also reread my paper and decided I can add more to it, just sentences that i thought were not independent clauses or full thoughts. I didn't really change my paper because I felt I didn't need to. The Literacy narrative is a story of your experience, filled with your thoughts. Of course my thought cannot be stated wrong, well maybe but I felt it wasn't necessary to, so I only changed a few things. I would say the peer review and the clause lesson in class pretty much influenced my revisions. I feel what makes my paper strong is the story itself and how it still affects me today as I continue to struggle with it.

What on earth is in a good paper?

That awkward moment when you receive your paper back from the teacher with a big "C" in red bold letters at the top of your paper and the person next to you gets an "A". How come you got a C?  I mean you did follow the topic that was assigned for the paper and you did turn it in on time! Well the case probably was your paper was mediocre! You did follow the assignment but your paper probably didn't have those special qualities that make it a "good paper". I feel that 3 qualities that make a good paper are: easy these, time order, punctuation, unity/focus and style.

Easy Thesis- I think the difference in an A and C paper is the thesis. In a good paper you always need a thesis or the whole point of writing the paper. It needs to be clear  to the reader and to the point. You shouldn't be all over the place with your thesis changing your mind or dropping hints. The thesis in the paper should be very clear and easy to understand.

Time order- The difference between an A and C paper is time order. Depending on your genre in a paper (argument, narrative, report etc.) there is always time order. For example: in an argument paper you are to clarify your stance and or opinion. so let's say I was writing about my stand on abortions. If my thesis was that I disagree with it then in would begin to give my list  on why I do and the negative affects there are to it. I would explain in time order and I believe that is what help to make a good paper.

Punctuation- I also think good punctuation plays a major key role in a good paper. Punctuation can help get your thesis and sentences to the point and clear. It can help make your paper look professional and clean. You wouldn't want to read a paper with a lot of misspelled words and unclear sentences.

Unity/Focus- An organized paper is a good paper. If your paper is organized with your ideas it's easier to read and understand. Every paragraph can have its own idea or point and make the paper look good and clear to the audience. If you read a paper with a lot of flashbacks from the narrator or ideas jumping around, it would make the paper super confusing.

Style- Finally I think style plays a role in writing a good paper. Whether your writing a paper that embraces your personality can really make the audience intrigued and enjoy reading your paper opposed to a paper that is just dull and has lists in getting to the thesis.

Assignment 2 :)

For the literacy narrative I haven't quite decided what to write yet, but I do have a couple ideas in mind. First idea is how I began writing my own short stories and poetry when I was younger. It helped me express myself and break out of my shell and gave me courage to even read out loud in front of the class. It also helped me cope with certain situations I was dealing with and writing most definitely helped me free my thoughts and stress I always had. The pros in this essay would be that it gave me power to be a better writer. I would have to focus on one event instead of multiple in this essay and stay focused on the thesis.

My second idea is the time I had to come up with a entire page in the yearbook and write a story with a group. I had struggles with this because I didn't know where to start. The teacher was also very bossy and if she didn't like something she didn't care to insult. This event helped me visualize how to write to different audiences and creatively. I was part of something big for the school and it helped me a lot expand my vocabulary and look at writing in a different perspective. This idea is a good topic because it shows how sometimes you have to adapt in writing depending on your audience and what you're writing .

My third idea is actually really similar to the essay we were assigned to read. I am Guatemalan & Puerto Rican. I was raised speaking strictly English until I was 6. I moved to California where all my family speaked spanish as their first language. I learned a bit of spanish listening to them talk. Til this day I can speak spanish to a certain extent. I pronounce things wrong sometimes or in the wrong tense, even my grandfather laughs at me! Its also hard to translate some words from english to spanish. This narrative shows that I have struggled with the spanish language in pronouncing certain words and the grammar as well as understanding certain words. While writing this essay I will have to focus on the struggles, be vivid.

Why am I taking English 101?

I am taking English 101 for two reasons. The first being given that it is required at Northeastern and the second is I would like to not only learn how to write essays using techniques and structure, but also improve my grammar. I want to be able to write ten page papers with no problem and actually turn them in on time! I don't want to be stressing every time I am assigned an essay or even a piece of writing (stress free please!). I have always enjoyed writing either it be poetry or a short story or I definitely would like to improve and apply it to my own writing. I have this weakness of drifting away from the thesis and points getting to the thesis, so I would like to improve that as well.                                                                                                           Good writing can contribute too many things in my opinion. I feel that good writing can also improve proper speaking and even help in job interviews and resumes which is a big part in life. I want to be able to impress my boss or anywhere in general I am trying to apply and get a job at. I think that Northeastern Illinois has this class required to basically do that and help to improve a student’s writing at college level criteria. I believe that it is a fair and useful that will help in the long run. Good grammar, proper speaking and essay knowledge can definitely help in the long run and I can apply it to life.